3 Behaviors That Might Be Holding You Back
At the age of five years old and maybe three feet tall, many of us likely decided that we didn’t want to be extra ordinary. We wanted to be extraordinary. The world was ours for the taking. And then, one day, when we grew up, we just stopped believing our dreams were possible. We got stuck in a rut and found ourselves never quite able to climb out. We began placing limits on ourselves, making excuses for our behaviors, and developing thought patterns that started holding us back.
It’s time to get back to the way Five Year Old you thought, don’t you think?
Once you begin to identify some of these patterns and behaviors, you can work to free yourself from those thoughts that aren’t getting you quite where you want to be.
Which Role Do You Play?
The One With The Negative Self-Talk
What we tell ourselves on a day-to-day basis has a lot of influence on our ability to make our dreams a reality. For example: You’re unhappy in your career and want to change it up, but you tell yourself that success is based on the six figures you’re working towards.
Perhaps you want to travel to France and drink a caramel cappuccino outside of a cafe in the middle of the summer, but that would require you to take time off from your job (the one you’re unhappy in). Or maybe you’ve always wanted to pursue your vicarious passion as a photographer, but taking the leap scares you.
Many of us may feel like we aren’t deserving of happiness or that our dream life is unrealistic. So, instead, we choose not to take action. We feel stuck. We stay grounded in a life that we don’t want for ourselves. All because we told ourselves we couldn’t.
Sounds familiar, doesn’t? When you fall into these negative thought patterns, you are limiting your potential and hindering your growth. You aren’t giving yourself the grace you need as a human being. If you find yourself constantly undervaluing your worth or questioning your dreams, it might just be holding you back. Your behaviors will reflect your thoughts.
Tip #1:Practice positive self-talk.Speak kindly to yourself. When you begin to notice those negative thoughts of doubt, criticism, or blame seeping in, replace it with encouraging words. Believe that you are deserving of all of the good in the world, because, well… you are!
The One Who Loves to Plan to Perfection
Everyone wants to get it right on the first try. We want our new and exciting endeavors to be planned to utter perfection. As a result, we read and learn and plan so much that we never actually act upon it.. We worry that we will never quite be perfect enough or have it all figured out, so we just avoid it altogether. As we hold ourselves to impractical standards we are instead holding ourselves back.
Tip #2: Set those plans into action. It can be uncomfortable to fully immerse ourselves in the unknown, to accept that we might bump into some imperfections along the way. Things rarely ever go according to plan, and that’s okay. Different obstacles or alternative paths always seem to pop up, but it doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing. Imperfection is what makes us human; it makes our lives fun and interesting. And sometimes, we just have to kiss our fears goodbye and take the leap. You have the dreaming part down, now you just have to become the do-er.
The One Who Is The People Pleaser
Pleasing others is not always a bad thing, but when it comes from a place of undervaluing our own worth and keeping us from what we truly want out of life, it’s no longer healthy.We love to stay in our little bubbles, and not tread too harshly on those around us. We don’t want to rock the boat, if you will. We might struggle to say ‘no’ to others for fear of seeming selfish or feeling guilty. Some of us may even be living out someone else’s dream, instead of our own. Being a people pleaser can be exhausting, and it is time to put yourself first.
Tip #3: Let go of what no longer serves you. If a relatioship friendship is stunting your growth, let it go. If your success isn’t bringing you joy anymore, let it go. Sometimes things change, and we can change right along with them. Pursue what makes YOU happy.
If you find yourself falling into the role of the negative self-talker, the perfect planner, or the people pleaser, please do not hesitate to reach out to me. I would be honored to help you navigate these thought patterns and behaviors that are holding you back, while learning how you can reach the potential you’ve always dreamed of.
