When Self-Love Is Hard To Come By: Tips for Loving Yourself
Many of us have likely stood in front of the mirror or laid in bed scrolling endlessly through the deep, dark depths of our Instagram feeds, desperately trying to love ourselves but not quite knowing where to start. We fill our screens with hashtags that have ‘love yourself,’ ‘self-love,’ and ‘body positivity’ scattered throughout the captions, yet somehow, we are unable to find those words for ourselves.
Loving Yourself So You Can Love Others
We so often feel as though we aren’t good enough, that we cannot possibly be giving enough to others, or that the amount of love we have to give will never quite be adequate. And here’s the thing that many of us fail to remember: When we are constantly looking inward, we can sometimes fall short of loving others, too. Here’s the secret: you have to give yourself some of that love first.
When you love yourself, you can also give love without expecting it in return. As the old saying goes, ‘you cannot pour from an empty cup.’ If your cup is overflowing with love for yourself, then you can generously give some of that love to others. Loving yourself attracts others who want to share in that love, creating a healthy foundation for your relationships with your friends, family, and partners to flourish. Spread love into every aspect of your life, but do not forget to save some for yourself.
Tips for Self-Love
Speak gentle affirmations. The key to loving yourself begins with the simple affirmation that there is beauty in your chaos. Your life is not perfectly curated and your entire being cannot be confined to an aesthetic, and that is pretty darn beautiful in and of itself.
Romanticize your life. Buy that bouquet of your favorite flowers you’ve been eyeing. Dance around your kitchen listening to Ray Charles on Sunday morning while you make cinnamon rolls. Sit down with a good book as the morning light streams through your window. Take yourself on a walk, feeling the sunshine on your face and staring in awe at just how green the grass is. When you begin to appreciate the beauty in the world that surrounds you, you might just be able to discover some of that beauty in yourself. (Disclaimer: You absolutely will!)
Embrace all of yourself, from your head to your toes to your soul. You are a human, and we are complex beings. Free yourself by embracing all that you are! When you find yourself falling back to the self critic that you know all too well, change your mindset to give yourself the compassion that you are so very deserving of.
Chase your dreams and feed your passions. Invest in yourself. Giving yourself permission to chase your dreams is allowing you to give yourself love. Be intentional with how you spend your time; do yourself the favor of focusing on what and who you love!
Be open to growth. Just as a plant needs water to grow, you need love to blossom for yourself and for others. And remember: self-love is a process. You will change and that can be a good thing. Becoming comfortable with growth takes time!
Give yourself patience. Forgive yourself for the not-so-great days. Self-love is a roller coaster, and there will be days when loving yourself might feel like you’re standing at the bottom of Mount Everest staring up into the abyss. But every mountain has its peak… and it feels pretty good to reach the top.
As you begin the journey towards loving yourself, you will find that it becomes just a little bit easier to love others with each step that you take. If you find that you are struggling with loving yourself and others, please contact me today. I would be happy to walk with you on your self love journey.
