How To Tell Your Significant Other That You Struggle With Depression
Depression is a lot more common than many of us think, but that doesn’t make it any easier to tell people that we struggle with it. There is still so much ignorance and misinformation about this mental illness, which often makes people who struggle with depression susceptible to shame or judgment. Therefore, the instinct to hide it is entirely understandable, and many individuals will go so far as to keep it from their family members and romantic partners.
Although it might not be easy to tell your significant other about it, it’s better to communicate this big part of your life with your partner. You don’t have to carry the burden alone, and in the long run, it will help you strengthen your relationship.
1. Remember just how common depression is.
According to the World Health Organization, approximately 350 million people around the globe live with depression. Even though depression is nothing to be ashamed of regardless of the statistics, there can be solace in knowing that you aren’t alone in your struggle. There’s a good chance your partner is even a few degrees of separation from knowing someone with the illness, so odds are good that your partner will not react with the shock or confusion that you might fear.
2. Explain exactly what you’re feeling.
There tends to be a misconception that depression equates to sadness, but if you struggle with this mental illness, you know that not to be true. Take care to be specific with your significant other, communicating exactly how you experience depression.
3. Don’t take your S.O.’s questions personally.
Remember: Your significant other might not know the slightest bit about depression, but in an effort to be a better partner to you, they will strive to comprehend what you’re trying to tell them. Have your research at the ready, and try not to interpret the questions as judgment.
4. Compare it to something someone without depression could relate to.
If you struggle with depression, you’re likely rolling your eyes at this one, and I get it. Depression really can’t be quantified or explained, especially to someone who has never dealt with it. But your end game here is to help your partner understand, so think of an analogy that will communicate why depression can be so darn debilitating. For example, you might tell your S.O. that it’s kind of like when you catch a cold. There are some days where your DayQuil does the trick and makes you feel like a million bucks, but there are other days where you barely have the energy to get out of bed, much less blow your stuffy nose.
When you explain your illness as something your partner has experienced, they’re much more likely to comprehend how it is for you.
5. Communicate how they can help you.
Remember that this news isn’t necessarily going to be easy for your S.O. to hear, much less for you to tell them. Your partner wants nothing more than your happiness, and it will likely pain them to know that you’re suffering. You know yourself best, so communicate with them how they can help you. Depending what depression feels like for you, you might:
- Tell them that you like to be left alone on particularly difficult days.
- Ask them to simply hold you when you are hurting.
- Communicate that you need a little tough love and would appreciate being encouraged to get out of bed, get dressed, and participate in some seratonin-boosting activities.
- Ask if they would help you find a therapist that would be a good fit.
There are so many different ways that your romantic partner can help you, and you will know what that is better than anyone else. Communicating this will avoid them feeling helpless and frustrated along the way, as well as strengthen the bond between the two of you.
Most importantly, remember that there is help available to you. If this conversation with your spouse or significant other frightens you to no end, consult a therapist that can help you and your romantic partner navigate it.
