Perfectionism is Anxiety: 4 Tips to Calm Your Perfectionism
Many of us likely became familiar with the term ‘perfectionism’ in our childhood, dating all the way back to when parent-teacher conferences were praise-laden for our attention to detail, work ethic, and near-flawless report card. Coloring inside the lines was encouraged, and perfect scores on spelling tests were the standard. Assignments were handed back with a big star plastered on the top of the page, and let’s be honest… it felt good. We quickly learned to take the praise and run, and in doing so, started to set the bar higher and higher– and higher still– for ourselves.
Enter: Perfectionism. Simply put, perfectionism is a trait in which you strive for nothing short of– you guessed it– perfection, and it’s all too common.
Perfectionism can look different for everyone. It may manifest itself as fear of failure, feelings of inadequacy, procrastination, or frustration in the process of achieving our goals. Simply put, perfectionism is anxiety; we just don’t refer to it that way in our culture. It is the belief that we can (& should) attain perfection in every single aspect of our lives and that anything less than is simply not good enough.
Perfectionism is Anxiety
Every aspect of personal and professional life can be affected by perfectionism. When we aim for utter perfection, we often create unattainable goals and unrealistic expectations for ourselves. We place pressure on ourselves to maintain the façade, to keep up the perfect appearance, no matter what our lives actually look like. We may feel anxious, worried, or inadequate. This persistence to be perfect is unhealthy, as it leads to over-scrutinizing ourselves in our work, hobbies, and even in our relationships. Nothing we do is ever good enough for ourselves.
From a young age, we have learned that perfectionism is linked with success, but this could not be further from the truth. Procrastinating your work deadline until you feel like you can execute it “perfectly,” spending too much time writing & re-writing an email, and holding yourself to impractical standards all stand in the way of actually crossing that finish line. Perfectionism can lower your productivity, making it more difficult to reach the goals you have set for yourself. Tasks might feel daunting, and trying new things feels scary, as we fear that we don’t have the time, energy, or ability to ensure it passes the perfection-inspection of our critical eye.
Perfectionism can feel as if it has a tight grip on you and your life, but it doesn’t mean it has to stay that way. You can learn to let go of perfection, and free yourself of the anxiety that comes with it. Part of being human is learning and accepting that we are not perfect, and that we often make mistakes. Welcome to Being Imperfectly Human 101!
4 Tips to Improve Your Perfectionism:
- Acknowledge it. Letting go of perfectionism might not be easy, but coming to terms with our own perfectionism is the first step to positive change in our mindsets and habits. Acknowledging its presence begins the journey to achieving our goals in a healthy way.
- Practice positive self-talk. When you start to notice that you are much too critical of yourself, be aware of how you speak to yourself and replace it with encouraging self-talk. You aren’t perfect; you are human.
- Find peace in the progress. Perfectionism often looks like the ‘all-or-nothing mentality,’ where it feels like one mistake has the ability to erase all of the progress you have made so far. People who experience perfectionism tend to look for flaws in anything and anyone. Your imperfections are beautiful. Reminding yourself of your worth despite these imperfections is when you can start to love all of you!
- Go to therapy. A mental health professional can help you recognize work towards mending your perfectionistic thought patterns, as well as getting to the source of the matter. Understanding the root of your perfectionism is so important to learning how to change your toxic mindset and behaviors, so you can move forward in a healthy way.
Perfectionism doesn’t just fall by the wayside overnight, as much as we wish it did. But it is possible to reframe your mindset to one of grace and humanness, and in doing so, work to rid yourself of your perfectionistic tendencies. Perfectionism is holding you back, and you deserve to step into your authenticity free of it withholding you. If you are struggling with perfectionism, please contact me today.
