Reframe Your Mindset to See Anger as an Accepted Emotion
We have all experienced anger in our lives at one point or another. Some days it feels like frustration and annoyance, and other days, we feel like the fire engine red Disney character from Inside Out, with the permanent scowl etched on his face and wild flames that would burst from his head at any given moment. Well, while this is a pretty accurate depiction of what anger can feel like, we can learn to let go in a healthy way and establish a positive relationship with our own inner voice of anger instead of pushing it down because it is so widely unaccepted in today’s society.
Although society often tells us that anger should be repressed, it is an emotion that demands to be felt. To understand anger, we must first acknowledge that it is a natural, fundamental human emotion. It is quite literally engrained in the very fiber of our being as our body’s intuitive response to protecting the essence of who we are. We won’t get into the nitty-gritty science of it, but ultimately, anger is there to raise a red flag and tell you ‘Hey, something is not right here!’ It can be a useful emotion, as it guards your heart and cautions your mind.
While learning to deal with your anger in a healthy way is essential and holds immense value in our relationships, coming to terms with and accepting this emotion is key to restoring balance to your emotional health.
Tips for Dealing with Anger in A Healthy Way
Stop shaming yourself for feeling angry. This goes hand-in-hand with what we discussed earlier. Accepting the presence of anger as a basic human emotion is the first step. Remind yourself that your feelings are valid, and they are not something to be ashamed of. Emotions are part of what it means to be human and being human is hard.
Relax. This may seem like a bit of a no-brainer, as it is much easier said than done, but using relaxation techniques are healthy ways to resist the need to act on your anger. Take a few moments to focus on your breathing, and regain control over your breath. Close your eyes, and inhale for four counts. Then hold your breath for seven counts, finally releasing your breath ever-so-slowly over eight. Controlling your breathing brings clarity to your mind, and ultimately, releases anger to restore calm. If you are quick to anger, be slow in your response. Work to soothe your emotions and above all: be gentle with yourself.
Get your body moving. Your body loves its endorphins, and redirecting your anger through exercise can be a useful tool. Try yoga to regulate your breathing and free the tension in your muscles. Go for a run to release some of that anger. Be aware of what your body is asking of you, and give yourself the grace you need.
Grab a pen & some paper. I might sound like a broken record, but trust me when I say, journaling can be truly magical. It releases that anger, travelling from your brain to your hand to your pen, putting it right on the paper. And remember (I can’t stress this enough): Anger is an accepted emotion. Expressing your anger through journaling will help sift through your emotions, better understand what you are feeling, and really work to build that healthy connection with your innermost self. Your emotions are safe on the page.
Practice shifting your perspective. Recognize when your harmful thought patterns begin to take shape. Anger has a funny way of blinding you, by overtaking all of your emotions and sometimes even defying all logic. Practice guiding your thought patterns towards calm and healing; each and every day will become slightly easier. Speak kindly to yourself and take a moment to shift your perspective. Consider: What is the cause of my anger? How can I reframe my thoughts to move past my anger?
Although anger is a normal and healthy emotion, it can become overwhelming if it is not managed. Counseling can help you deal with anger by finding healthy techniques that work best for you. Contact me today; I would be honored to help.
